Without being pregnant, I’m a person that loves to change things up at home. Pregnancy is just giving me a guilt free way of getting my husband to do all the heavy lifting for me. Since the new year, I’ve been feeling the itch: the “this baby is coming THIS year and we haven’t done ANYTHING other than grow it yet” itch. So – it was inevitable: we’ve started “spring cleaning” early. We’re going through EVERYTHING in the house, deeming it necessary or unnecessary, and donating or tossing it accordingly.

With Bugs I distinctly remember wanting to keep everything around me – just in case. Anything sentimental, I wanted to keep to show my child one day. Anything possibly useful, I wanted to keep because I might need it for the baby. Then, she came, she loved the most random things, none of which were the things that I specifically kept for her, and we ended up with a house full of STUFF. She ended up being this extremely girly girl, and none of the interesting toys that were meant to stimulate her brain were what she wanted to play with, it was all keys, purses, dresses, and pretty things.

 Now, I know each kid is different. Baby bird could either be girly like Bugs, or most decidedly not. Either way, I’m okay with just waiting and seeing. Which means: Get the crap out of our house!! This time around, I just want clean. I want minimal. I want to be able to walk through rooms without stumbling on excess. I want to come home and sigh at the cleanliness of my home. I’ve become a woman possessed. (Sorry Joey)

We’ve already cleaned our bedroom, we’ve got a good corner set up for baby, and a side result of the newly situated room is that we actually spend more time in it. All four of us (including the dog) pile on the bed after dinner, dessert, and baths, and snuggle up to watch a quickie show before bedtime. It’s really the most favorite part of the day now. Bugs likes to talk to Baby about things she’s watching, or to poke at her and see if she can get a reaction. Ziggy sprawls out on top of or next to whomever is feeling generous that night, and Me & Papa just soak it all up.

We’ve also moved things around in Bugs room. A surprising side effect of that is that Ziggy now spends his afternoons before she gets home from school on her bed, looking out the window into the backyard. It’s funny because the sliding door in the back gives him the same view, and is usually open so that he can run out there if he wants, but for some reason now he’s taken to snuggling up on her bed and watching out the window.

I just realized I haven’t said a single word about pregnancy on the blog until now. In the beginning, it was a lesson learned. When we found out we were pregnant last February, we started telling people right away, even though we were only 5 or 6 weeks along. We had been “trying” for a year and a half. It was such a relief to finally know “we’re pregnant”. We even went so far as to tell Bugs, although we did debate it. Then, two weeks later (March 9th), we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy, and I had to have emergency surgery to remove the little life that was growing in the wrong place. It was….devistating. It was hardest explaining it to Bugs. She was SO beyond excited that she was going to be a big sister.

After recovering from surgery, the surgeon (the fertility Dr.), explained to me that it would probably be harder to get pregnant again. With only one tube (the other had to be removed because it was too damaged by the pregnancy), my chances were half what they had been. If it had taken me 1.5 years to get pregnant, I would have to double that expectation with only one tube. So, for our own mental health, Joe & I decided we weren’t going to “try”. We weren’t going to labor over ovulation charts and basal temperatures and whatever else people do when they’re trying to conceive. We decided that it would happen when it was supposed to happen. I started eating healthier, dropped 15lbs, we started bike riding with Bugs, and just went on living our lives, being thankful for every moment we have together.

At the end of August, Bugs started talking about babies again. She’d mention it here or there before, sadly stating in that matter-of-fact kid way that “God had to rescue our baby because it was growing in the wrong place”, but in the end of August, she asked me one night if we could pray before stories at bedtime. I said sure, and when I asked her what she’d like to pray for, she said that she wanted to pray for a little brother or sister. She said she learned that God would listen to us and that we could ask Him about anything, so she wanted to ask Him about a baby for our family. About two weeks later, she was still asking this every night, and I suddenly thought “maybe I should take a test”. I wasn’t late, I didn’t feel any symptoms, but something in my gut was telling me that maybe this wasn’t just a coincidence. Maybe God laid this on her heart because there could be a baby? When I asked Joe if he thought I should take a test, he said we should wait – tests are expensive! But I urged him to go out and get one, not one of the pink lines tests, but one of the pricey “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant” digital tests. I wanted a clear answer. So we took a test, and lo and behold “Pregnant” popped up on the screen. We were…dumbfounded.

We agreed immediately that we weren’t going to tell anyone until we were sure, until I had gone to the dr and had all the necessary testing to be sure that this pregnancy was in the “right place”, that my hormone levels were right, that everything was as sure as it could possibly be. I had blood work, ultrasounds, and by the end of September we were sure the baby was in the uterus, we’d seen the heartbeat fluttering away, and we were still only 7 weeks along, so we decided to wait until 12 weeks to officially announce the pregnancy. I started having morning sickness around that time, constantly nauseaus, throwing up multiple times a day, often in front of Bugs. She constantly wondered why I was so sick all the time, and all I could tell her was that my tummy just wasn’t feeling right.

In the beginning of November, we finally got to tell her the good news. She was a little shocked at first, just smiled her way through the rest of the night. At bedtime that night, she said that she wanted to pray again, this time for a healthy baby. She’s been praying the same thing ever since. We found out right before Christmas that we were having another girl. For weeks before, Bugs had been saying she wanted a baby brother. She had prayed specifically for a brother, would tell anyone and everyone that she wanted a brother. I think she talked about it so much that we kind of believed she knew. She came with us to the ultrasound to find out what we were having, and when the tech said “it’s a girl”, Joe and I both looked at each other, then at Bugs, and waited. She got a huge smile on her face and then asked to leave. Just like finding out we were pregnant, she needed a little time to adjust to the news, but then she was all over being a Big Sissy to a Little Sissy. She wants to help with every aspect of the baby, constantly telling us she’s going to ask my mom to teach her how to cook so she can cook for us, telling us she’s going to help give sissy a bath and a bottle, that she’s going to learn how to read in Kindergarten and then read all kinds of books to her sissy. She’s taken to helping me cook dinner, constantly chattering away about how she can do this all by herself when sissy is born, that me & Papa can just take care of sissy while she cooks for us. She gives sissy good morning kisses and good night kisses, snuggles up to me on the couch and says she’s just “snuggling with the girls”, and constantly talks about all the fun things she will teach sissy about and do with sissy when she’s able; dancing, singing, silly dance parties, dress up, play princess, play house and restaurant, etc.

We’re 6 months along today. Just this past weekend, Joey & Bugs got to feel the baby kick for the first time. Six months in, and it still sometimes feels like it’s not happening. Oh, I definitely feel pregnant. But this time around is decidedly different than the first. It’s calmer. There’s a peace knowing that none of it’s in my control. With Bugs, I was constantly reading pregnancy websites and blogs, planning her nursery from the very beginning, wondering constantly who she was going to look like, what she would be like, and how much birth was going to hurt. This time around, there’s just not as much time for all that. And, I think we’ve learned the lesson that we’re not in control. That no matter how much I worry, plan, or practice things, they will go how they’re meant to go. We haven’t picked out a crib, figured out whether the girls will share a room or not, even cleared out space in our room for the baby for the first few months. Just about the only thing we’ve decided on is the name: a random, beautiful-to-us name that we’re not sharing until she comes out. We’re trying to enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts. This pregnancy won’t last forever, the aches and pains will go eventually, and it’s most likely the last pregnancy that I’ll experience. So today I’m thankful for each time I get to feel the baby kick, for every conversation that I get to have with Bugs about sissy, for every time she leans in and kisses my belly good morning or good night.

The verdict is still out as to how this guy will respond to being a big brother….

I don’t think we can sing the praises of the preschool that Bug goes to enough. It’s really amazing. This years christmas party featured a santa, snow, snacks, and a special presentation of “Frosty the Snowman” sung by the kids, just for the parents. It was so fun and cute. It was a bit of a madhouse with all the kids, parents, and siblings running around, but no one was hurt or maimed too badly by a rogue snowball. The dad’s helped to set up the snow on the lawn before the kids were brought outside for the surprise – 900 lbs of packaged snow!

this last picture pretty much sums up how we felt about the trip….pure joy.

The rest of her prayer each night is where she switches things up. Here are a few of the things that she prays for, in her own words:

“God – I want to pray for you too! Because I hope that you’re happy in Heaven.”

“God – I just wanna pray for Gramma Liz – that she’s happy in Heaven with you. And if she can hear me… (whispers) “hi gramma liz”"

“God – I wanna pray for Khun Dtaa because he’s an old man. And I love him.”

“God – I just wanna pray tonight for Khun Yai, becuase she’s funny. And I wanna go to Thailand and go shopping with her”

“God – I think tonight I want to pray for my cousins because I love them. Chloe and Ella are nice to me. And Ella plays nice with me.”

“God – tonight I wanna pray for Papa to come home safe from work. He drives fast sometimes, but i want him to come home safe.”

“God – I wanna pray for GJ and Grandma. GJ is really tall and Grandma is…not.”

“God – please listen to me. I want to pray for a health baby for our family. Because Ziggy isn’t a real brother. He’s a dog. I love him, but I want a baby”

It’s really the best way to end our nights together. It’s so heartwarming to hear her think of all the friends or family that she wants to lift up in prayer and so funny to hear how she phrases things.

We had a little scare yesterday. On Saturday Bugs was getting what seemed to be a little cold – she was tired, had a slight fever, and the sniffles. We decided to just take it easy for the day, stayed at home and watched the Lion King, cozying up on the couch. Throughout Saturday night, she woke up every hour, having a hard time breathing, not coughing a lot, but just kind of gasping for air when she would try to talk. We did a couple breathing treatments (like the one shown above) and thought “if she isn’t better by morning, we’ll take her to the dr.”. By morning, she was pale, very tired, and still gasping for air. The breathing treatments didn’t seem to be doing ANYTHING, so we knew it was time to head to the hospital.

After some blood work, listening to her chest, and an x-ray, it was confirmed that she has pneumonia – which she’s had two other times within a year. After first thinking we were going to have to stay overnight at the hospital, Bugs responded really well to the antibiotics and breathing treatments every 4 hours. We got to the hospital around 7:30 am, and we were able to come home around 5:30 pm. Unfortunately, it looks like the girls got allergy induced asthma. Instead of wheezing like most asthmatics, her allergies tend to weaken her immune system, making her more prone to infection, then she develops pneumonia. It’s a scary business. Thankfully, it’s all treatable. We have to meet with her pediatrician tomorrow morning to discuss the long term plan for keeping her healthy and well, but other than that, she’s resting comfortably at home today – with her Papa and “little brother”, who missed her terribly, I’m sure.

Last week was Papa’s first week of working nights for a month. Bugs was excited at first about the idea that we would be having girls nights for four straight nights – but that quickly turned into her questioning me incessantly about when Papa was coming home. Monday’s have proven to be the most difficult so far: it’s the beginning of the week, after a weekend of Papa, so bed time is taking around two and a half hours because Bug keeps jumping out of her bed at every little sound that I make in the house, wondering if Papa is home now. Then when I finally go to bed, she comes creeping into the my room to see if he’s home yet – eventually it’s just easier to let her sleep in Papa’s spot because when he comes home, he sleeps in the guest room anyway. (Her sleeping in the bed is actually okay with me when he’s not around – it’s just comforting to have us both together when Papa’s not there.)

 Tuesday’s are the new Monday. I’m tired and grouchy, and although it’s not even 10 am yet, I can’t wait for work to be done so that I can go home and take a nap.

BUT – the weekends are so much sweeter. Although they drive each other crazy – there’s a relationship here that is SO heart melting to watch. At the first hint of any type of music, Bugs will start dancing and wriggling around and it’s about the only thing I’ve ever seen that can make Papa laugh till he’s crying. There are fun things that Papa does with Bugs that are sorely missed when he’s not around…i.e. making sand mountains and digging holes through the middle of them. 

I have more pictures to upload and edit – these are just the ones from my phone. And stories to go with those pics…

I didn’t take any of these pictures. All of these awesome pictures were taken at Bugs school – the best school ever – with her teacher’s brand new iphone. One of the many things we love about this school is that her teacher, Samantha, takes these pictures and sends at least one (usually a couple though) to the parents each day. I can’t imagine how many pictures she has stored up of all the kids over the years…it must be A LOT. For Samantha’s birthday this year, all of the parents (and her husband and mother-in-law) chipped in and pooled our money to buy her a new iPhone – because the one she had been using, a first generation iPhone – took pictures that couldn’t be printed…they were just a little too grainy. And being that all of us parents are just selfish, we wanted to get her a something that would also benefit us in the long run =)

Samantha was more than shocked when she opened her presents this year - but we were all more than happy to give them. It really is a fabulous thing to be able to drop your kid off in the morning and know that, no matter what, she’ll be well taken care of throughout her day. It’s something you can’t simply say “thank you” for – something that even a shiny new white iPhone can’t really express. Bugs loves going to school, loves the meals she’s fed there, and best of all, loves and emulates the care/love her teachers show to her.

Ella’s birthday: She wanted ice skating & cake – and that’s just what she got!

Even Maggie had a good time!